Here's to Another Lousy Fucking Year.

Or something like that.
It's been pretty trying overall.

Anyhoo. Goodbye to 2017. History will not be kind to it.

And with that in mind the final SSC nail in the coffin is Helen Wheels.

Destinations Unknown (1978)

“Helen Wheels has the toughest ass in show business, if not in all America.” — R. Crumb

So I've had the Go-Go compilation 7" for a long ass time. (I mostly wanted the JJ-180 tune, but you  know whatever). It posted back on November 13. I really didn't think too much about the Helen Wheels song. I mean, it's good and all, but not exactly the stuff of dreams.

Now with a quick google of her name and a bunch of stuff comes up. So apparently she was a bit of a legend on the outskirts of everything that happened in New York in the 70's. She (just like Patti Smith) wrote the lyrics to a number of Blue Öyster Cult tunes like "Tattoo Vampire" and "Sinful Love" from that one B.O.C. album that has that one song that Classic Rock always plays. You know, the one that isn't "Burnin' For You"... (and I quite like B.O.C. "Secret Treaties" is a great fucking record and don't let anybody tell you different. If they do, they're tasteless boors and you need to stop talking to them.)

She was apparently sort of a local legend if you were from the NYC area and are wont to believe such hype.

Post Modern Living (1981)

She was also a body builder. She could probably have kicked my ass. 

That said, I don't know what to make of her stuff. It doesn't quite connect to me. Maybe it's a bit too rock and not enough punk or new wave to make it super interesting to me. I can't totally dismiss it, but it's not the first thing I'm going to pull out of the stacks on any given day.

Sort of fitting for the end of 2017.

And there you have it.

I'm not even trying anymore

There are a lot of posts in December.
I'm not even trying.

More Chris Heazlewood.

No, YOU shut up!

Badge or Medallion (1995)

Blah blah blabbity blah blah blah

Introducing the Ron Asheton Club (1996)

Yeah, so maybe at some point in the time between my typing and queuing this up I'll feel the need to go back and say important things about the qualities of the music herein.
But I doubt it.

[ed. I didn't]

Boxing Day

It's Boxing Day.

Here is your box.

Surf's Up in Malibu (1993)

The first solo vinyl appearance by guitar ace Chris Heazlewood who has been previously and may yet be still part of King Loser, Olla, & Sferic Experiment.

So yeah, it's right up my hot dog alley.

They Slaughter Small Children (1993)

See above.
Come to your own conclusions.
I'm probably cold and at work.

This is what I Got You

It's a full length.

Twin Smooth Snouts (1995)

This is the sole full length long playing record album by the entity that was then (as they are probably still) known popularly and colloquially as Mr. Hageman who the astute among you may remember as being one of the stringed instrument performers with the much beloved musical combo that went by the unlikely moniker of Thinking Fellers Union Local 282. They sounded like this.

It was somewhere around the time of this release or the next year that I witnessed TFUL282 play a show with Sun City Girls at the Uptown Bar and Grill the memory of which still to this day makes my nostrils flare slightly and my nipples express  small amounts of a clear milky fluid which makes for a tasty flavor enhancer for coffee beverages and cold cereals.

This album is rather like eating said cold cereal from a bowl made entirely of small live insects that have been laboriously glued together with wheat paste and pop rocks, only slightly louder and with fewer feelers. But not too many fewer.

Let that be your recommendation.

Shit Post

My contribution anyway.
The music is intended to make up for my shortcomings which are legion.

I should make a coffee.

Thief (1996)

This is good. Very good.
I do not feel the need to say another fucking thing about it.

Messerschitt Pilot's Severed Hand (1997)

This is even better.






Thus concludes Thee Headcoats post spree as currently planned.

Thank you for your attention,
please deposit any trash in the appropriate container at the end of the ride.

Short Post.

I'm not feeling it, but I have a personal quota to make.

Tubs Twist (1993)

Everybody switch instruments and somebody hit record. Wipe hands on pants and repeat for a flip side. Done.

She's in Disguise (1996)

Of note the flip here is a slowed down version of a song previously recorded by Thee Mighty Caesars which was the Billy Childish band immediately preceding Thee Headcoats.

7" compilation thingees from 1995

Here we are.

It's the 13th.

Hayfever #1 (1995)

The profile for this on Discogs states:

Hayfever was a German written magazine which came out very irregularly but always included a 7" containing mostly unreleased tracks. The mag covered anything between early IDM, postrock, psychedelica and experimental. Originally started in Bremen, some staff members later moved on to Hamburg. 

Enlarge the picture if you want to see who's on it. There's a couple of NZ folks and a couple of others. I'm not your monkey.

 Grimsey split (1993)

A split seven inch in only the loosest terms. Both sides are the work of John Crozier who played  lead guitar with the Hang Ups on their first couple records that got posted back in October. (follow the links there on the right. We'll wait.) The two projects are Ninian Hawick and the Shebrews. Both of them had full lengths to go with this taste test. (We'll see if I feel up to it later.)

Baseball is on

It's June where I am and I'm watching the Red Sox play the Yankees. It's not going very well for the Sox. They're down five runs in the bottom of the sixth inning. David Price had a pretty awful start and gave up two home runs.

I've decided that I don't need to pay that close attention any more.
It's pretty obvious how this will end.

In 1993 the Toronto Blue Jays won the World Series beating the Philadelphia Phillies in 6 games and you could have been listening to these singles by the Headcoats while they did it.

Action Time Vision (1993)

This is a very credible cover of the only song by Alternative Television that anybody knows. It's Ok. It's a great fucking song. I hesitate to say that Thee Headcoats best the original, but I'm not ruling it out either. The flip is no slouch either.

A solid effort. We'll go with that.

I'm a Confused Man (1993)

The only thing I have to say is that it's really kind of weird how my crap scanner took a solid beige border on the record sleeve and made it this weird psychedelic camouflage design.  I'm a confused man myself now.

Variations on a Childish Theme

 Let's keep this going

I have leftover Korean food to eat, but this is important.

To me at least.

Thee Headcoats Sect (1991)

So once upon a time there was a British R&B/Beat group called the Downliner Sect. They existed and then they didn't. For a lot of folks their existence is noted in the inclusion of the song "Glendora" on the Nuggets 2 box set of garage/punk/psyche etc... from places other than the United States. It's a good primer anyway.

In 1991 Thee Headcoats met up with Downliner Sect main honcho, Don Craine and produced this bit of recorded history. I doubt there was a second take to be had. None were necessary. And like a lot of records were doing at the time it sandwiches little talking bits preceding the tracks that are kind of amusing the first time you hear them and rapidly lose that on subsequent plays. I was feeling lazy. I didn't separate them. Do your own dirty work.

Ballad of Hollis Brown (1992)

A Billy Childish solo release. It's more a pair of more bluesy numbers. The picture on the back is still Thee Headcoats, so I'll assume that they're also part of this release.
You listen. You enjoy.

Childishness

So it looks like the snake is starting to eat itself. The large batch of posts that I started to queue up is already starting to appear five months ago while I forge ahead with today's post like a tiny time capsule to be dug up on this date in December.

It's all timey wimey wibbly wobbly, I guess.

Girl From '62 (1991)

So many years before I or most people were aware of Guided by Voices and Robert Pollard's one man recording industry and some years past the heyday of  a new Fall release every few months there was Billy Childish. He made a lot of records. A lot of them. By himself and under various aliases and with numerous bands. In 1991 Sub Pop put out a two cd compilation of a fraction of his catalog I Am the Billy Childish subtitled "Fifty Songs from Fifty Records"
For a completist like myself it was all a bit daunting.

So today is the start of a fraction of one even smaller fraction of Mr. Childish's output starting with Thee Headcoats. They are raw primitive beat garage and quite wonderful to varying degrees of such. Like a lot of the Childish catalog they seem to make the same record over and over again with new songs. But it's a great fucking record, so who gives a shit.

Something Went Wrong (1991)

So as I wander through this world and flip through records, whenever I come across one of these at a reasonable price. I buy it. I've got five posts scheduled of Headcoats currently. And still looking for more.

Put on your formal deerstalker and let 'er rip. December is going to be a corker.

Or Murgatroid. Your Choice

Heavens to Betsy.

These Monsters are Real (1993)


Two singles.

Two People.

Eight songs

Direction... (1994)

Riot Grrrls
Pre-Sleater-Kinney

Make your own decisions

Ladies Night

So I've been putting off going to the practice space and recording the whole weekend. The last time the thing I started wasn't working for me. So I've avoided going back.

Now, I've decided to scrap that shit for now and have a different tack to try. I'm fomenting a plan even now. I have no idea what it will be, but it beats sitting around the house.

Head Cheese (1981)

So this was a band from the city of Brotherly Love, Philadelphia, PA. It's a bit arty, but still New Wave from this trio of ladies. Not exactly what you might initially expect from the picture on the back, but then they did also call themselves "Head Cheese" which is a food stuff that only my grandfather could love. (Though, I might be more inclined to give it another chance now. Cheek meat is pretty fucking tasty. It's just the aspic that kind of creeps me out.)

The one claim to fame that this band has is that one member went on to have a couple of minor mid-80's hits with the group Book of Love starting with "I Touch Roses" in 1986. I saw them around then too when they opened for Depeche Mode at the Orpheum Theater in Boston. As I remember the stuck up snooty little fuck I was back then didn't enjoy the show.

P.U.N.K. Girl (1993)

Fifth single on Sarah Records for these popsters aptly called Heavenly. A pair of incredibly catchy and cheerful little numbers about girls by this female fronted quintet. I'm a sucker for this. If only the whole of the Sarah catalogue had more of this I'd be much more inclined to spend more time and money tracking down their releases.

This is the bees knees and quite catchy toe tap worthy so long as you don't pay close attention to the rather sad lyrics to "Hearts and Crosses". They're a bit of a downer.

Back Down Under and Slightly to the Right

The Debut 12" by Headless Chickens

Headless Chickens (1986)

I got nothing. 

Just enjoy. It's on Flying Nun.

That should be enough to go on.

Today's Adventures in Difficult Listening

A difficult listening post.

Haven't had one of those in a bit now have we.

At least this is pretty damn funny...

Now We Are Six (1986)

This band consists of two fine upstanding gentleman known to the record buying public as Mr. Anus & Mr. Horribly Charred Infant.

We all have regrets. One of mine is that I didn't pull the trigger fast enough to purchase the first Happy Flowers single with "Mom, I gave the Cat Some Acid" because it's still one of the things that make me giggle uncontrollably whenever I listen to it.
Just tickles me pink.

Alas, I was too late for that first gem, but did manage to snag the follow up. This one. It has such lovely little toe tappers as "Mom and Dad Like the Baby More Than Me" and "Daddy Melted" which unfold slowly and painfully over a bed of excruciating noise. Just like spending time with your own family.
Only this is actually funny along with being painful.

At least I did get a very sweet hand written poem with my copy of this gem which I can only assume is a one of a kind piece of art that will not increase in value anywhere in the world

except my heart:

Excuse me a sec. I may cry. Too much  beauty....



Meanwhile let's take a moment to remember that difficult listening comes in many forms

Hardattack (1981)

So here's Hardattack.

It's sometimes billed as a "rare US punk" record.

I'm less convinced.

First off the b-side "Me and You" is some kind of extra shitty wacky white guy reggae concoction that generally causes me to bruise a shin or something scrambling for the "next track" button. 

The band sounds like approaching middle aged guys trying to catch up with the latest sounds of  1981 so they can  regain some kind of relevance. (which I say from a comfortable middle age myself as someone who was never relevant to begin with)

which leads us to the second thing

The better side is the A-side "Sick and Tired of my Friends"

(and presumably why some optimistic and perhaps slightly delusional soul thinks that this single should command a minimum of fifty five US dollars on Discogs. Which is itself an improvement on the whopping hundred previously offered copy. You can ask a million, but there has to be takers....)

It's a relatively fast number with a beat and a certain New Wave bent, a bit of a misanthropic slant lyrically. 

And features the inimitable punk rock guitar stylings of guest artist Jorma Kaukonen who approaches this old person New Wave/Punk thing like he's playing in a Blue Oyster Cult cover band. (which I also say as a fan of B.O.C. "Secret Treaties" gets a fair amount of play around these parts. 

But in this case context matters.)

The whole aging hippie who was in Jefferson Airplane/Hot Tuna thing kind of kills that "punk rock" vibe for me. But I'm snootier than most. 

Punk rock was invented because of people like this. To spite and despite them. It was my generation's thing. Fuck off, poser. 

Fucking Baby Boomers ruin fucking everything.

That ranted, I mean, it's still probably not the worst record ever made in this vein at the time, but it's far from the top.

At least now you can save your fifty five dollars for something better. 

Like tacos. 

Go buy yourself some tacos.

Round on Both Ends and Hi in the Middle

I  have no time or patience for this right now, but time and progress must march forward...


Two items from the state of Ohio.

I think I've made myself pretty clear on that previously.

Circle A Indicator (1997)

Harriet the Spy.
Emo-ish band from Kent, Ohio.
I don't hold it against them.
They probably need a hug anyway.

That wasn't a haiku.


They are defunct
and haven't even looked at their FB page in a couple of years

I Keep a Close Watch (1978)

Nearly twenty years previous and nearly as emotional Harvey Gold released this tidbit on Clone Records. He's best known for being in Akron legends Tin Huey.

It's a cover of a really lovely John Cale tune that is easily as good as any of a million overly covered tunes you can name.

The other side is a bit stranger.
There's a bridge where the lyrics are:

...Billy get off the toilet
    be a singer (x3)
    just like your father..."


You can take that as a recommendation.