Out of Order

Somewhere along the way despite my semi-meticulous organization, these future posts got slightly out of whack and things got out of order.

This particular post concludes the Half Japanese portion of our current program and sets the order of things and their accompanying post dates back to right.

We apologize for any inconvenience you perhaps might possibly have experienced if you'd actually been aware that anything had gone awry.

You didn't, but feel free to ball up a tiny impotent fist and shake it at the screen in anger anyway.

There.

Feel better?

-The Management

XXOO (1982)

This single came out in 1982. All the people on it are in Half Japanese.
They sound just like Half Japanese. The label is one that released a number of Half Japanese records. There's covers of  both Buddy Holly and the Miracles

This band is XXOO.

Quack, Walk, Duck.

U.S. Teens are Spoiled Bums (1988)

Can't argue with the sentiment.
Purchased directly from Jad himself at a show at the Uptown Bar and Grill in the late 90's. There was a break in the show when the other guitarist broke a string and he performed "Mr. Frankenstein" at my shouted request. It was a great.
 Chatted briefly outside with him afterwards and thanked him for playing the song I wanted to hear. He seemed very nice.

Go to his Fun Store and buy stuff.
It's the right thing to do.

This is a Test

I'm not sure what kind of test, but it seemed like if I typed that phrase up there as a title then in the time it took me to hit enter and start working on the body of this post I could in that half a second devise some kind of gimmick that would allow that particular title to make sense.

I have failed.

Perhaps that was the test. 

I have failed my own test.

(But to be fair, in the midst of typing the above sentences my wife came in and asked me to smell something to tell her if I thought it was spoiled. Having potentially spoiled food thrust under ones nose with very little warning is a bit of a distraction from whatever might otherwise be occupying ones thoughts. Such trains of thought are easily derailed. Especially when accompanied by old food that smells slightly off. That has quite the opposite effect of focusing ones concentration on something completely unrelated to the unwelcome scents of questionable edibles. Of this much you can be assured.)

Now where was I?

Oh  that's right...

Sing No Evil (1985)

This was the last of the Lps I purchased by Half Japanese. My interests went elsewhere, but I kept these too.  I quite like them.

This one least of all because it has "Firecracker, Firecracker" on it.

The song with the immortal words:

"Boys got the muscles
Teachers got the brains
Girls got the sexy legs, they win the game
Muscles ain't strong
Brain's ain't smart
But oh, those legs, they won my heart"

Truer words have seldom been spoken.

After I Hit Publish on this Post

I'm going to go and brush my teeth. They're feeling a bit hairy like they're wearing tiny angora sweaters or something. That's not the way for teeth to feel. That's for torsos. Who wants a mouth full of little torsos wearing furry sweaters? Not me. I'm not that person.

I'm just going to go ahead and brush my teeth right the fuck now, then.

I'll be right back....Don't go anywhere....

Our Solar System (1984)

The same year that Jad Fair released the previous post Half Japanese unleashed this monster of an Lp to little or no acclaim. So many great tracks. "Danger Danger Rachel Lang", "Knocked Down on the Dance Floor", "Too Much Adrenaline" etc...

Half Japanese was really hitting a groove here.

Hard to believe that this actually existed at the same time that "Footloose" by Kenny "Dangerzone" Loggins and "Hello" by Lionel "The guy who's song is a meme" Ritchie  were Top 10 Hits.

Strange but true.

But obviously I've run out of ideas here today. I'm recycling material and can't even be bothered to link the songs in the previous paragraph to their corresponding YouTube videos. It's probably a clear sign that I should stop for the day.
 I'm obviously slacking.

The question is....Will I?

October already.

Where does the time go?

I suppose the universe works kind of like the final hole of a mini-golf course with time being the ball they don't want you take home and you're forever shooting it into the last cup where it is eternally sucked away forever to be recycled and the circle of life continues.

That would probably make more sense if one of us was high or something.

I'm certainly not, so I guess, it's up to you

Get on that.

Monarchs (1984)

Another solo venture by Jad Fair.

If  you liked the previous one.
You'll like this one as well.
Be his friend on Facebook.
Buy some of his art.
Show the man some love.
It's all he wants for you.

First World Problems

I'm a bit peckish as well, but I have a lot of one thing that I made a few days ago and I'm already kind of over it even though it's really quite good and was pretty satisfying the first few times I ate it. But the honeymoon is over and it's time for it to head to the freezer. Unfortunately for me, it's also the only thing I have to currently eat.

So I guess, I'm stuck eating this delicious thing that I'm not really in the mood for anymore.

Everyone Knew...But Me (1983)

The first time that Jad Fair flew solo on a Long Player and it's just chock full of hits that should have been.

While the actual Billboard Chart Toppers for the year were that creepy stalker classic "Every Breath You Take"by that band with that one dude your mom listened to in the car back in the 90's and "Billie Jean" by that other creepy dead guy plus a song from a movie about a really hot welder/softcore stripper and a whole host of other crap Jad Fair made this and released it and nobody paid that much attention.

Seriously, I'd like to travel to that other of the infinite other parallel dimensions where "Snake on my Head" was a smash single and #1 on the charts.
I think I'd like that dimension a lot better than this one.

How I Feel.....Horrible

Blah Blah Blah

Horrible (1982)


It's Half Japanese. It's a 12" 45rpm Elongated Player. It has "Thing With a Hook" and "Rosemary's Baby" on it and I really like those songs a whole hell of a lot. Spend some money and buy some of the reissues yourself.
That is all.

Some Days I Just Don't Have It in Me.

Yeah, it's chilly and there's a cat in my lap and I'm just generally feeling kind of grouchy,  but things must happen and I'll churn out a post or two and call it good

Spy (1981)

So we're continuing with the Half Japanese stuff. There's also going to be some Jad Fair stuff mixed in because they're essentially the same thing. After the big box set of the last post we start getting to the things that I can listen to more often.

It does however start off with a Doors cover. I never really liked the Doors.

They were music that the people who gave me a shit in high school listened to. Plus Morrison was such a pretentious douche who's literary stylings were about as profound as anything that ever was scrabbled in a teenage sophomore journal.

I just can't do it.

But here's the Half Japanese take on it.





I find the other side of this to be more enjoyable anyway.

Take It Magazine Flexi (1981)

In the year of 1981, Half Japanese also shared space on this flexi with the Mutants that came with a copy of Take It Magazine, back issues of which you can apparently still purchase.

How cool is that?

On this one the boys in the band do a version of "Heart" by Petula Clark but done much better by those Boston garage legends the Remains. That's the one that I know and love ever since I found a beat original mono copy of that Remains Lp for two whole dollars in Central Square in probably 1983 or so.

But you can listen to this one now.

Brutal Firsts

This.

Half Gentlemen/Not Beasts (1980)

I've had this box set for decades. I've had it so long and it's been sitting in my record shelves for such a length of time that it barely registers on my any more that it even exists. It's just one of those dust magnets. It's there.

 I've also only listened to all three Lps in one sitting precisely once in all these years.

That was when I digitized it.

To be fair (or Jad Fair if I wanted to make a pun), I hadn't actually pulled it out in a long long time. I was kind of traumatized by it when I first got it because I had no idea what to make of it. It was noisy and almost non-musical and sounded for all the world like adults making music like they were six year olds which is, I guess, kind of the point but didn't quite click with my youthful brain at the time. All these years later, and a bunch of other records later and life and what not, it still sounds like that but I find that it makes more sense and that for the most part I kind of like it. It's certainly the most primitive album that Jad and David Fair made under the Half Japanese moniker.

Still not likely to be the first Half Japanese record I'm going to pull off the shelf at any given moment, but I'm not going to curl up in a corner.

If you're the type to actually go out and purchase things and not a filthy leech then you should also know that Fire Records has done a bang up job with reissuing pretty much everything and you can have it for your very own to stroke lovingly in your very own home.

A Quick One

No time for introspection and words and shit.

I've got shit to do and coffee to drink and I'm working tonight.

Zombies of Mora-Tau (1982)

It's Jad Fair from 1/2 Japanese with a solo single in 1982. Notable for one of my favorite recorded sounds. The gunshot on "Mr Frankenstein".

I  actually have two copies of this.

I like it that much.

 

Four Song ep (1986)

This Full Fathom Five was from Iowa City, Iowa. That's another one for your fifty states collection. They're mentioned in an article in the Chicago Tribune in 1989 if you're interested. Otherwise this is...well, it just is and precisely good enough that I wanted to add it to this shit show I call my blog.

I only have one copy of  this.  That's all that's necessary.

So there you go.